


HRT

by MountingZion



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 22:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MountingZion/pseuds/MountingZion
Summary: “It’s funny,” Jack chuckled. “I’ve been held hostage before with a gun to my head, and somehow I’m more scared and anxious now than I was then.”





	HRT

Jack wasn’t sure why Ryan was the one she went to. He was the first one she came out to. Maybe it was because he was calm and collected a majority of the time. Maybe it was because she the first one he took his mask off in front of. Maybe it was because she knew he would keep a secret no matter what.  
It wasn’t as if she didn’t trust the rest of the crew. She regularly trusted them with her life. There was just too much unpredictability in them for her to feel comfortable telling them something so serious. She got scared that if she told them they’d laugh and think it was a joke. That didn’t happen, but her insecurities didn’t let her feel completely comfortable just yet.  
So here she was again; sitting on her bed in the middle of the night with Ryan sitting beside her, gently rubbing her back.  
“I can do it for you,” Ryan offered, “if you’d like me to.”  
“It’s funny,” Jack chuckled. “I’ve been held hostage before with a gun to my head, and somehow I’m more scared and anxious now than I was then.”  
“It’s okay to be afraid. It’s a big change.”  
Jack smiled and looked down at the case of estroidal in her hands. She had received it in the mail about a month ago, but she kept pushing it aside, too afraid to think about it yet.  
“What if they laugh? What if they think differently once I start taking my shots? What if this suddenly becomes all too real for them and they kick me out of the crew?” Jack was hyperventilating.  
“Hey, take deep breaths,” Ryan began kneading the middle of her back with the heel of his palm. “They’re not going to think any different. They’re going to be excited for you. Remember how Geoff said he’d buy you the best surgeon in Los Santos? He cares. They all care. This isn’t going to change how they view you.”  
Jack relaxed into Ryan’s touch. She looked at the box again. She knew she was afraid for no reason, but the stories of rejected trans members of other crews made her terrified.  
“Can you do it for me?”

\-------

It continued like this for a couple months. Once a week, Ryan would come into Jack’s room in the middle of the night and give her the shot.  
Ryan could see how much more she glowed since she began HRT. Every week Jack would almost be bouncing on her bed waiting for Ryan to come to give her the next dosage. Ryan found himself in his down town often researching HRT, making sure that everything he did was correct. He watched video after video of self-injectors, occasionally sending a video to Jack.  
She was gaining her confidence, but anytime she went to talk to Geoff about it her heart sank. Every fear she had would well up in her throat and become trapped there.  
“You okay, Jack?” Geoff would ask. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something.”  
“Uh, yeah, I was thinking on the next heist, maybe Gavin could fly.” Any excuse she had to bring in another crew member to join the conversation was her go to.  
“Uh, sure, I mean Gavin has been watching your work pretty closely.”  
“Do you mean it, Geoff? I can fly next heist?” Gavin began hopping around excitedly.  
Jack tuned out the conversation, moving to the kitchen to avoid any further involvement. 

\-----

On a random Tuesday evening, Jack was sitting in the penthouse alone. She knew her next prescription was to come in. When she heard the door open and a set of keys set on the table she froze. No one was supposed to be in the penthouse. No one can be here when the package arrived.  
She turned around on the couch to see Geoff standing in the middle of the living room, holding a small package in his hands.  
It felt as if Jack’s heart has leapt out of her chest and onto the floor; vulnerable and exposed. She was on the verge of tears.  
“What’s that, Geoff?” Her voice was shaky. “Did your new pistol come in?”  
“You didn’t tell me you wanted to start HRT,” Geoff didn’t sound accusatory like Jack had expected. His voice sounded like someone who had gotten a present for someone, but in the between time the person had already bought it themselves. “You know I would have paid for these and the doctor visit.”  
Jack couldn’t get any words to come out. It was as if she had instant dry mouth. She felt the tears well up in her eyes.  
“Hey, hey, hey,” Geoff could see how visibly distraught Jack had become. He quickly moved to the couch, putting a hand on Jack’s shoulder.“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”  
“I’ve been taking them for two months.” The words came out barely over a mumble.  
“What?”  
“I was too afraid to tell you. Ryan has been helping me take my injections for the past two months.”  
“Why were you afraid to tell me?”  
Jack looked up to the caring blue eyes that had always been by her side. Looking at Geoff now, she’s not sure why she was scared to begin with.  
“So many crews have kicked out members when they came out as trans. I thought,” She took a deep breath. She hadn’t realized she had begun crying. “I was scared that when I began HRT it would become too real for you.”  
“Jack…” Geoff leaned his forehead onto Jack’s. “I’m so sorry that I made you believe I might turn you away. I’m sorry I setup an environment where you were unsure if you would be accepted fully. I’m so sorry.”  
Jack felt her heart well up, but this time with joy. Her biggest fear was disproved. In the moment, she for once understood how loved she was. 

\------

“So you have to do it with a needle and everything?” Gavin looked legitimately fearful.  
“Well yes, that’s how injections work, Gavin.”  
“But needles are so scary!” Gavin whined.  
“Gavin, you kill people for a living,” Michael responded. The group laughed as Gavin squawked back.  
Geoff had decided to gather the crew for a traditional family dinner so that Jack could feel more comfortable telling the rest of them. Their responses were similar to Geoff’s. They did their turns of apologizing and being excited for her treatments.  
Naturally, they each had their own questions. Jack was happy to answer. It helped that whenever she couldn’t come up with a good response, Ryan could fill in.  
“Honestly, I think this makes you even more bad ass than you already were,” Jeremy chimed in. “Stabbing someone is easy. Stabbing yourself is terrifying.”  
“Well, thank you, Lil J.”  
“So all those times Ryan was going into your room in the middle of the night was to give you your shot?” Gavin asked.  
“What do you mean?” Jack responded. Everyone looked confused by the question.  
“Okay, so you know my room is next to Ryan’s,” Gavin began. “And well, I may have seen you sneak into Jack’s room a couple times.”  
“Oh my god,” Jack began to laugh loudly, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.  
“Wait, what?” Geoff looked at Ryan who had his head in his hands. “I don’t get it, what?”  
“He thought we were fucking,” Jack said through laughing spurts.  
The rest of the crew broke out into incredulous laughter. Gavin’s face flushed as he tried to defend himself.  
“Well what else was I supposed to think?”  
“How long were you going to go before confronting us about it?” Ryan asked.  
“I dunno, never? It’s none of my business.”  
“You said you noticed this happening multiple times. Did you hold your ear up to the door and everything?”  
“M-maybe.”  
The crew laughed even harder. 

Ryan watched Jack while everyone continued to ask questions. Her smile was so genuine. He hadn’t seen her this calm and relaxed in a long time. He had never been more proud of her.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fic in three years. This is my first step back in. Thanks for reading.


End file.
